How to Build a Self-Care Routine that Actually Sticks

Self-care is more than just rest - it’s a vital part of healing, especially for those who have experienced trauma. This blog explores why self-care feels hard, what happens when we avoid it, and how therapy can support healthier, more compassionate patterns of caring for yourself.

More than Comfort: Self-Care as a Path to Healing

Self-care often gets talked about as bubble baths and quiet mornings, but for those who have experienced trauma, it goes much further than that. Self-care isn’t a luxury, it’s a necessary part of recovery. Trauma affects both the body and mind, often leaving people feeling disconnected from their needs. Self-care is about safety, healing, and learning to listen to your body again. This can be portrayed through setting boundaries, saying no, or giving yourself permission to rest without guilt.

Types of Self-Care Practices

Let’s break down the different types of Self-care and the parts of us that they can best benefit:

For the Body

• Sleep: Having poor sleep quality has a significant effect on stress levels and perceived health.

• Exercise: In a study including college-level students and exercise, it was noted that 80% of students that exercise reported no stress.

• Food Nourishment: Honoring our fullness and hunger cues to ensure our body has what it needs to function at it’s best.

For the Mind

• Social Support: Participants in a sample who identified having support amongst family members and other peers reported less global stress.

• Emotional Regulation: Cognitive reappraisal, which is changing the meaning of an emotion-evoking situation, is related to lower levels of stress.

• Mindfulness: Practicing being present, aware, and engaged has been related to reduced stress.

The Impact of Ignoring Your Needs

Skipping self-care might not seem like a big deal at first, but over time, it creates distance between you and your needs. The exhaustion, the short fuse, the constant feeling of being “off” - they’re all signals that your body and mind are running on empty. Ignoring your own needs doesn’t make them disappear - it just pushes them beneath the surface until they start to show up in other ways.

Here are 7 major effects that occur when we ignore our needs:

1. Mood swings

2. Poor sleep habits

3. Losing focus

4. Unhealthy weight gain or loss

5. Increased risk of alcohol or drug use

6. Poor hygiene (showering, brushing teeth, etc)

7. Loss of interest

Why Caring for Yourself Can Feel So Uncomfortable

Practicing self-care sounds easy in theory, but in reality, it can feel incredibly hard. Many people struggle with slowing down, asking for help, or putting their needs first - especially if they’ve learned to prioritize others or stay in survival mode. Guilt, fear of being “selfish”, or simply not knowing where to start can make self-care feel uncomfortable.

Here are 3 common reasons self-care can be hard to start or stick with:

1. Attachment to Unhealthy Behaviors

   Starting a new routine can be hard enough. Even after adding one new self-care practice such as exercise, it can be even harder to maintain that over time.

2. Lack of Motivation

   Higher levels of stress and low mood can reduce motivation and can make us rely on our established, unhealthy habits.

3. Difficulty Maintaining

   Self-care goals that are more aligned with individual goals have a higher likelihood of being maintained over time.

How Therapy Helps You Care for Yourself Again

The goal is to gently understand their story - both where they’ve been and how they currently care for themselves. By exploring their experiences with empathy and curiosity, we can help them see their journey through a more helpful, empowering lens. This shift often opens the door to healthier, more sustainable self-care practices.

4 Essential Self-Care Tips to Keep You Grounded

If self-care feels difficult to start or maintain, you’re not alone. Here are some helpful reminders that can make your self-care routine more realistic and sustainable.

1. Self-Care Feels Hard for Real Reasons

Self-care isn’t “easy” for most people, especially when stress, burnout, trauma, or chronic responsibilities get in the way. Understanding the barriers is the first step toward creating a routine that truly works for you.

2. Small Self-Care Steps Create the Biggest Changes

You don’t need a perfect routine to feel better. Consistent, tiny habits, like deep breathing, a 5-minute walk, or drinking water, can lead to meaningful shifts in your mood, energy, and overall well-being.

3. Ignoring Your Needs Can Lead to Burnout

When you push past your limits or neglect your emotional and physical needs, your body eventually speaks for you, through stress, exhaustion, or overwhelm. Self-care helps you stay regulated and resilient.

4. You Deserve the Same Care You Offer Others

So many people give endlessly but struggle to receive. You’re worthy of rest, compassion, and support, just as much as everyone you show up for. Self-care reinforces your value and helps restore balance.

You Deserve Care That Supports You

Building a self-care routine that feels good, sustainable, and truly yours takes time and you don’t have to figure it out alone. If you’re needing support with creating healthier habits, prioritizing yourself, or staying consistent, find a therapist in near you that can help you explore what’s getting in the way and guide you toward a routine that nurtures your emotional and mental well-being. You’re worthy of care, rest, and a life that feels balanced.